How I Made Top EDR Tools Look Like Clueless Babysitters (Using Just Notepad & Pure Chaos)

Your $2M security stack is useless if I’m lazier than your IT team.

Photo by ThisisEngineering on Unsplash

The Time I Accidentally Hacked a Bank During Lunch Break

Look, I’m not a “hacker genius.” I’m just a guy who hates meetings and loves chaos.

Last year, I was bored out of my mind during a Zoom call about “Q3 synergy pipelines.” To stay awake, I started poking at the company’s network with nothing but Notepad and a half-broken PowerShell window.

Four hours later, I’d dumped the CFO’s emails, backdoored the payroll system, and scheduled a fake “Mandatory Fun Day” calendar invite for the entire C-suite.

The best part? Zero alerts. Not one.

Why? Because I didn’t “hack” anything — I just used their own garbage against them.

EDR in 2025: Why It’s Basically a Participation Trophy

Modern EDR tools are like that one coworker who talks big in meetings but hides when real work happens. They’re great at:

• Yelling about random .exe files
• Ignoring actual threats because “PowerShell is a legitimate…